Sunday, November 30, 2008

mirrors

is there anyone else who specifically avoids reflective surfaces so they won't see a reflection of themselves?
no, really this is a serious question . . . am i the only person who'd rather go around with a chunk of food stuck in between her teeth than look at my face in a mirror?

probably you're thinking i'm insane. probably you're right.

i didn't always used to be like this. apparently, at one point in my life (around age 5) i couldn't stop looking at myself . . . around the 45second mark in this video you'll see what i mean. . .

p.s. i'd like to point out that most likely i thought being able to watch my every move on the tv while my dad was filming was why i was so fixated on my appearance and not because i thought i was the most fabulous kindergartner alive. that sounds plausable right? because that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

Friday, November 28, 2008

double edged sword

thank god i'm vain.
one of the main reasons i stopped throwing up was so i wouldn't ruin the enamel on my $3,000 smile (thanks for the orthodontic work mom and dad).

i wish i wasn't vain.
one of the main reasons i still suffer with body dismorphicness is because i'm vain (ok and probably because i'm slightly crazy too).

thank god i'm vain.
because no one should see me without product in my hair. seriously - my hair unproductified is like a foxy brown afro. it could eclipse the sun.

i wish i wasn't vain.
if i'm having a "fat day" i don't like to go out or see people because i don't want them to look at me. seriously. you're cringing aren't you?

thank god i'm vain.
have you seen "sensible footwear"?

vanity. the double edged sword. it makes me crazy and able to look presentable at the same time . . . evil yet redeeming . . . and it always wins in the end . . . just like me.