Saturday, December 6, 2008
the ghost of christmas past
Thursday, December 4, 2008
are you there god?
first, how are you? second, i've been really good this year and would like for you to deliver these items for christmas - oh wait! wrong list, baby jesus doesn't drive a sleigh.
in any case i hope you're doing well . . . the reason why i'm writing is because i'm confused about many of the "goings-on" in our society today (these concerns are largely focus on women's issues - so if you want you can stop reading this letter and attend to more important matters like the situation in afghanistan, starving children in third world countries, or AIDS in africa).
but if you do choose to keep reading (don't say i didn't warn you) here's what i'm wondering about:
*why are women starving themselves to fit into size 0 clothing? a woman's size 0 uses the same measurements as a size 8 in girls. why do healthy women with beautiful figures want to look like undeveloped 8 year old girls?
*why are girls going backward? seriously, if i ever walked out of the house with "juicy" printed across my ass - my mother would have marched me right back inside. i wouldn't even do it now. hello tacky!
*wtf on photoshopping?seriously! i think there are some occasions that call for a little photo retouching - but you still want the image to look natural and nearly identical to real life. but the magazines, the ads, etc. have got to curb their enthusiasm! everything is so airbrushed, so retouched that we are living with an extremely false perception of reality.
um i'm going to stop with these observations, if you or anyone reading this blog have answers to the above please let me know.
thanks god. tell mary i said what up.
~kelly
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
ability
god grant me the ability to accept the things i cannot change (my love of chocolate, the size of my ass)
the courage to change the things i can (little bedtime snacks - hey i need to get in a good carbohydrate rich treat before bed - it knocks me out cold)
and the wisdom to know the difference (ok the ass thing i can probably change)
but seriously - look at the years of conditioning i'm up against. i mean who lets their baby eat like that?
Monday, December 1, 2008
an accurate description
for anyone (all 2 or 3 of you) reading this blog who does not know me - i am engaged.
but
that does not mean i don't sometimes wish i could throw rocks at my fiance.
small rocks.
pebbles really.
gravel?
ok, ok those little dust pebbles that only look like rock but turn to crumbling dirt upon impact!
what?! i just want to knock some sense into him!
geez. . .
Sunday, November 30, 2008
mirrors
is there anyone else who specifically avoids reflective surfaces so they won't see a reflection of themselves?
no, really this is a serious question . . . am i the only person who'd rather go around with a chunk of food stuck in between her teeth than look at my face in a mirror?
probably you're thinking i'm insane. probably you're right.
i didn't always used to be like this. apparently, at one point in my life (around age 5) i couldn't stop looking at myself . . . around the 45second mark in this video you'll see what i mean. . .
p.s. i'd like to point out that most likely i thought being able to watch my every move on the tv while my dad was filming was why i was so fixated on my appearance and not because i thought i was the most fabulous kindergartner alive. that sounds plausable right? because that's my story and i'm sticking to it.
Friday, November 28, 2008
double edged sword
one of the main reasons i stopped throwing up was so i wouldn't ruin the enamel on my $3,000 smile (thanks for the orthodontic work mom and dad).
i wish i wasn't vain.
one of the main reasons i still suffer with body dismorphicness is because i'm vain (ok and probably because i'm slightly crazy too).
thank god i'm vain.
because no one should see me without product in my hair. seriously - my hair unproductified is like a foxy brown afro. it could eclipse the sun.
i wish i wasn't vain.
if i'm having a "fat day" i don't like to go out or see people because i don't want them to look at me. seriously. you're cringing aren't you?
thank god i'm vain.
have you seen "sensible footwear"?
vanity. the double edged sword. it makes me crazy and able to look presentable at the same time . . . evil yet redeeming . . . and it always wins in the end . . . just like me.